All the news

I guess we'll start with the sad news, Dave's grandma passed away late Saturday night. It's sad cause he no longer has any grandparents alive. But, we are thankful for the opportunities God gave, and Dave accepted, to take time with his grandma to keep sharing the gospel. He had a neat "God moment" with her in the hospital a couple weeks ago and we pray that she accepted Him as her savior.

On to other news...I popped this week! Yikes, it was sooo hard to find something to wear for Easter Sunday that didn't show my bump! I'm thankful I found a tank top that would work, plus gotta love my bel.la band!

Now to one of the "surprises"...After church we headed up to my parents for Easter lunch. My nieces found their eggs and were opening them up for the goodies inside while the whole fam watched. When they were done, my dad was going to make a break for it, but I said, come back here, I have a surprise I want to share. I then said, God has matched us with our baby (yes, I was already crying)! I got lots of tears to go with mine, then the questions lined up just as I was hoping (to play it out a bit). First my mom was upset cause she said, I knew it, you're getting your baby next week aren't you! They are going to Mexico and her biggest fear was missing out on the baby homecoming! She keep going on and on, and then my sis was like, when is the mom due, and I said November 1st. They were all crying and hugging me and so excited for us. Then I slipped in, "except I'm the mom" and it took a couple seconds then it sunk in and WHATTTT, and cue loud crying and hugging and questions and disbelief!! It went perfect! My poor nieces were a little confused though, my sis had to explain that Auntie Amber is pg and having a baby...they were like so your having a baby and adopting? We were like, well for now we are just having a baby, then we'll see where God brings us. The rest of the day I got to spill what has been happening the last 12 weeks and show pics and ask Q's. My dad was like, now I can take a few different puzzle pieces and start putting together what's been going on! My mom said last week she noticed my belly a little bit, but said she never would have asked me cause she knew it would have hurt me. So, we had a great time with them and look forward to sharing with Dave's parents on Tuesday night (they could use some good news after mil's' mom passing).

I saved the best news for last...Jesus is risen, He is risen indeed! I really had it on my heart that this day was to focus on HIM and what HE did for me, not all that was going on. As Dave said before bed, in the last 24 hours we experienced death, life, and the resurrection, what a day!

12 weeks!

Wow, it seems like the past few weeks have flown by. I think it's because I've finally realized that I AM pregnant. It sunk in and I'm starting to enjoy it (I think it helps that the nausea and m/s has gotten better!) I think I popped a little bit! In the evening I look huge, but come morning, I "flatten" out a bit. I'm guessing it's normal for now (bloating!) My pants definitely get tighter as the day goes on!

Another mile marker is today is my first day of not taking any progesterone. I always thought I'd be SUPER stressed about this day, but I'm not. I'm more relieved to be done! I also feel that God has brought me this far and I think I've finally put my trust in God that He created this child and He is in control of his/her life and number of days. I have NOOOO control, and I'm finding more peace with this!

Dave is so excited to tell people...okay...I should rephrase that, he is so excited he's telling at least someone everyday!! The difference is, the people he's telling aren't really close to us, or don't have any connections to our close friends or family. He's so giddy! I was DYING to talk to SOMEONE a few weeks ago, but he insisted we wait till 12 weeks. I LOVE his excitement!

So Sunday, Monday and Tuesday will be big days. Dave is booking these days with telling people, it's like he can't hold it in past Tuesday or he'll bust!! I can't believe it's Wednesday...4 more days till the big news is out! I'm excited to post about it!

Sweet Sounds

Today we had our 12 week appt. We had to bump it up a week since my new ob is off next week. It was a great appt!! First off, I really really like my new ob. She was very confident and took her time to talk to me and answer my questions. I get to go off of progesterone in 5 days, yeah!!! Then, the magical time came, when she pulled out the doppler. It took a little bit, but there it was, our beautiful baby's perfect heartbeat beating away for Dave and I to hear! AWESOME! It was the first time we got to hear it, and I'm in love! It was 158-163bpm. So, all looks good, and I go back in for our 16wk appt on May 9th...the day after Mother's Day! Who would have imagined last year where we are at now?! Now, we get to start sharing the news of our miracle at Easter dinner! Yeah! God is so good!

Struggling with words

I've been struggling with what to post lately. I find myself wanting to protect those who were like me and had a hard time reading blogs when someone got pg. I struggle with being honest with my challenges, cause honestly, who am I to "complain". There are many women who would love to be in my shoes. But at the same time, I want to be real. I don't want to hide my emotions. What if there is someone else out there that is feeling the same way and wondering if anyone else is too?? So, I just wanted to say that I may be posting more about my thoughts and feelings with pregnancy. I understand if there are some of you that can not follow my blog at this time because of it, I've been there, and totally understand. Just know that I am praying for you...that God would give you the desires of your heart.

I am at 10 wks already! I say already, but it feels like an eternity since we found out. This is the week my emotions hit me! I actually read about this a few days before and laughed thinking, whew, glad I don't have that!! HA! WAM, they're here! I got a cold that has lasted a couple weeks, and the whole cough thing hasn't helped the m/s, but for right now, it has been getting better. I've been feeling "twinges" off and on, especially yesterday, and I can say that it freaks me out! Fear starts coming in, and I start to lose some trust.

This has been my battle. I never knew how much fear I'd have during pregnancy. It's sad. It's my daily prayer that God would help my unbelief and give me the strength to trust Him and have faith. I need to daily die to myself and give over my control into the hands of my creator, and also the creator of our little miracle! To make this pg. more "real" I went to the library and checked out a couple pregnancy books. This helped me to focus on the fact I'm pregnant (still hasn't fully sunk in) and to give me joy in what is going on. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm excited!!!! But, I also think I am trying to protect myself from getting hurt. I am a work in progress!

I got my 12 wk appt bumped up a couple weeks (so it's at 11 wks now, it was at 13 wks) cause of hubby's work schedule. We go in next Thursday for a tummy check and I believe a doppler! We were both excited to get it bumped up because we'd like to tell family (yah....NOBODY knows!!) around Easter, and we'd both feel better knowing for sure things are ok. This appt is also with our new ob, so we're excited to see how it goes!

Sometimes I wish I had the faith of those women in the Bible who were barren, then blessed with a child. There was no blood tests, dopplers, or ultrasounds to keep scheduling to make sure everything was ok (don't get me wrong I LOVE being given the thumbs up that all is good.) They probably had way more faith in the Lord that he brought them to that point for a reason and had that trust that I desire to have. I need to take a step back, realize the amazing blessing I've been given, and just trust...period.