Refuse to be defined by

I've been pretty silent about our five year journey. One of the main reasons is I don't want infertility to define me. I don't want people looking at me and seeing infertility...I want them to see Christ. I want to be defined by how I live my life, not by what trials I am dealt. Dealing with infertility is hard enough, and sometimes people are uncomfortable and don't know what to say, so they try to give advise or ask us details that I personally don't think they need to know. After 5 years of comments/questions from those who don't know about our struggles, I've gotten kinda sassy and gutsy on my responses, so watch out! I figure if people want to be insensitive, I'll just make them a little uncomfortable :) (Ok, that may be the hormones talking...but it would feel SOOOO good to do it)!!!!!

I understand the importance of letting other believers know so they may pray for us, and that is why some do know, and THANK YOU for your prayers. It has been a true blessing to have a couple close to us experience years of infertility and treatment, to be able to relate and have that full understanding. Thankfully God has blessed them with children as well.

As I've posted earlier, this journey has been a blessing for me and for our marriage. Dave and I are SO close from this "experience", probably in a way we never would have been had we been "fertile". Our diagnosis is "unexplained infertility", which to me is screaming, "God has a plan, there is nothing wrong with YOU, it's just not his perfect timing. " Satan has definatley been trying to sway our thinking to believe it's punishment for our past sins, or even to quit having faith in God cause He obviously isn't blessing us, so he must not love us. WRONG-O!!! We have seen and experienced God in ways only us with IF (infertility) can understand. Thank you Lord! But with that said, we are ready and EXCITED to leave this desert. Five years has been long enough, we have grown in amazing ways, but know that there are more "trials" out there that we need to grow from too. I STRONGLY feel that in 2010 God will pull this thorn out and I will move on to his next plan for my life. This thorn will definately leave a life long scar though, but it's a scar that will not allow me to forget how God brought me through the desert, and how he remembered me...oh how I long to be remembered.