It's amazing to witness God working. It's amazing to feel the Holy Spirit's presence. This last month at church has been really exciting. Easter Sunday, the church was packed. We spent weeks praying for those who received Easter invites to church. Praying God would bring those who needed to hear God's plan for salvation. It wasn't about the numbers, but about the people...the Love of people. So, as I said, the church was packed!! The worship was AMAZING!! The sermon was very clear and life applicable. It was a great day, a great ressurection day! It was great to feel the Holy Spirit's presence and power!
This last Sunday we had a baptism service. Five people were planning on getting baptised. Our pastor gave an invitation for anyone wanting to be baptised to come on back. He gave a few points on baptism:
-Baptism is an act of obedience after believing, not a work of salvation.
-Baptism is a physical example of a spiritual reality.
-Baptism is available to anyone immediately following salvation.
-He then ended with, what prevents you today? See, here is water!
Five more people came back to be baptised! 2 4th greaders, 1 lady that has attended for 25 yrs, and 2 newer ladies. It was so amazing!! I help out in back with baptisms, and I can say this was the most emotional and meaningful time! You could see how the holy spirit was leading and working.
Now, in either of these situations, we may not have seen any change (not many more people coming on Easter or no one else coming back to be baptised), but I realized it's not about that. It was just AMAZING to see God working and to feel his presence! I felt on cloud nine spiritually. I really think I've missed out on this in the past. I was so ME focused, that I didn't see or even care to see God working. It was not my priority. I was not getting my way. I think since the failure in March my eyes have been opened, and my focus being challenged and changed. I am really enjoying this break! I'm amazed at how God works and his power!! I realize that He DOES have that power...it can be so easy to doubt when time after time you have hope in the Lord and we don't get our ideal result. It challenges our faith. But God knew...God knows...and He has the power to give us the desires of our heart. This break has really helped me gain back confidence in the Lord(I know that sounds to terrible to say, but it's true). I am thankful that He is showing me that He is in control and is doing AMAZING things!!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
Clarity
Last weekend, Dave and I had an amazing time of prayer. We both spent an hour in prayer, praising, thanking, and seeking the Lord. I have to admit, I was nervous. I was worried that what I felt God telling me would be different than what He told Dave. But, I had to remember, God is a God of clarity, not confusion. After our time apart, we came together to talk about our time in prayer. God's presence was surely here! I feel He was very clear to both of us on a couple subjects. We both felt that God wanted us to wait a little bit to resume treatment. Dave felt to wait until July. We both thought how amazing it is to go before our Creator, seeking his face, and his timing and not knowing what he may tell us!
One of the last things we both prayed about was if this treatment cycle didn't work, do we do more, or do we look into adoption. When I was praying about this, I really felt God saying, don't go there yet...don't worry about those steps, just focus on the one step ahead of you. When I mentioned this to Dave, he had the same answer! It can be so reaffirming when God directs both of you to the same place! It is amazing, we both agreed that if the previous 2 cycles hadn't failed, we probably wouldn't have been seeking God in prayer as much...failure can lead us to our knees so much faster than success. Praying we will continue to stay on our knees during both the ups and downs of our lives.
On a side note, during our small group this week, Dave led the devotion time on servanthood prayer. Seeking his will through prayer, not our own, with humility being the goal. I know the past 5 years my prayers have been more selfish...God, this is the desire of my heart, please bless me with it...stop this pain we're going through...why me?! These prayers are definitely okay...I think we need to be open enough with God to let him know what's on our heart. But, I haven't been seeking his will. If his will isn't for us to have kids, I didn't want it! I wasn't thinking that His plan for me might be better, I felt if it didn't have what I wanted in it, it wasn't better! Thankfully, I have been growing in my relationship with Him, realizing that He LOVES me! His plan isn't to withhold everything good from me, he just has better plans than I've dreamed of!
One of the ladies at the group helped bring me back to focus as well. Her and her husband wanted to adopt (probably 25 yrs ago) and they were on like 25 lists through adoption agencies. They were on a waiting list(of about 300) to get on the waiting list! She was up one night and ended up praying until morning that if it wasn't God's will for them to have a child, that God would take away the desire to be a mother that He had given her. Two days later an adoption agency called her asking if they were open for adopting a Korean baby. They of coarse said YES! I've only prayed this bitterly about taking my desire away. I realized that I need to pray that if it isn't the Lord's will for us to have children, that He would take away the desire that he put in me. I need to be open for His will for my life. I'm taking baby steps in this direction.
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" 2Corinthians 12:9
One of the last things we both prayed about was if this treatment cycle didn't work, do we do more, or do we look into adoption. When I was praying about this, I really felt God saying, don't go there yet...don't worry about those steps, just focus on the one step ahead of you. When I mentioned this to Dave, he had the same answer! It can be so reaffirming when God directs both of you to the same place! It is amazing, we both agreed that if the previous 2 cycles hadn't failed, we probably wouldn't have been seeking God in prayer as much...failure can lead us to our knees so much faster than success. Praying we will continue to stay on our knees during both the ups and downs of our lives.
On a side note, during our small group this week, Dave led the devotion time on servanthood prayer. Seeking his will through prayer, not our own, with humility being the goal. I know the past 5 years my prayers have been more selfish...God, this is the desire of my heart, please bless me with it...stop this pain we're going through...why me?! These prayers are definitely okay...I think we need to be open enough with God to let him know what's on our heart. But, I haven't been seeking his will. If his will isn't for us to have kids, I didn't want it! I wasn't thinking that His plan for me might be better, I felt if it didn't have what I wanted in it, it wasn't better! Thankfully, I have been growing in my relationship with Him, realizing that He LOVES me! His plan isn't to withhold everything good from me, he just has better plans than I've dreamed of!
One of the ladies at the group helped bring me back to focus as well. Her and her husband wanted to adopt (probably 25 yrs ago) and they were on like 25 lists through adoption agencies. They were on a waiting list(of about 300) to get on the waiting list! She was up one night and ended up praying until morning that if it wasn't God's will for them to have a child, that God would take away the desire to be a mother that He had given her. Two days later an adoption agency called her asking if they were open for adopting a Korean baby. They of coarse said YES! I've only prayed this bitterly about taking my desire away. I realized that I need to pray that if it isn't the Lord's will for us to have children, that He would take away the desire that he put in me. I need to be open for His will for my life. I'm taking baby steps in this direction.
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" 2Corinthians 12:9
Monday, April 5, 2010
Birthday Boy!
Friday was Zander's 3rd Birthday! So, to spoil him a bit, I added a whole scooby at the bottom of his food dish and covered it with his food. Note: Zander normally doesn't get a whole scooby since his treats are expensive!! Anyway, I sat and watched him eat to see his excitement. He found it pretty fast, and to my surprise, he spit it out, and finished his food!! After all his food was gone, and bowl licked clean again and again, did he finally go back to the treat and eat it! He's such a goofy dog, but that's why I love him!!!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Answered Prayer
I love how God answers prayer. I especially love it when the answer is FAST! Sometimes I forget that God can answer prayers right away. I assume that it will take a while...maybe over 5 years!!
Yesterday, I had a job opportunity come my way. It would only have been 1 day a week for 6 hours...plus the pay was really good. I wouldn't have had to hand in my resume or have an interview! But as soon as I heard of it, I immediately thought of a good friend of mine that could use it more than I. I didn't know if she would take it or not, so I started wondering if this is what God wanted me to do. So I prayed about it yesterday and today...Today I got a call from the lady who offered the job to me, and she said that my friend took it and said it was a huge answer to prayer. A sigh of relief came out of me, feeling thankful that I thought of my friend and that my prayer was answered.
I'm so thankful that I have a huge God that has plans for each of my steps. That he knows everything and what is best for me. I'm also thankful for quickly answered prayers!!!!
Yesterday, I had a job opportunity come my way. It would only have been 1 day a week for 6 hours...plus the pay was really good. I wouldn't have had to hand in my resume or have an interview! But as soon as I heard of it, I immediately thought of a good friend of mine that could use it more than I. I didn't know if she would take it or not, so I started wondering if this is what God wanted me to do. So I prayed about it yesterday and today...Today I got a call from the lady who offered the job to me, and she said that my friend took it and said it was a huge answer to prayer. A sigh of relief came out of me, feeling thankful that I thought of my friend and that my prayer was answered.
I'm so thankful that I have a huge God that has plans for each of my steps. That he knows everything and what is best for me. I'm also thankful for quickly answered prayers!!!!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Growing pains, or lack there of
I'm at a really awesome place right now...where I should be, I think! I am at peace. I was always so fearful of my future and that this "thorn" would always be in my side. I didn't want it, and I didn't want to feel it's pain. I am finally in a place right now where this thorn is not as painful...it doesn't have the power it once had. I sometimes wonder if it is still there, maybe it has been removed and a scar is left. My thought always was that the thorn leaving would be us getting pregnant...now I think it's changed cause I choose not to worry about the thorn. With our without the thorn, my life will go on. Now what that life holds, I'm not sure, but I am sure that I am more excited to where the path may lead.
I am more open now to adoption that I ever have been. One of my biggest fears was that I would never have any bio kids here or in heaven...well, now I know that we will have a few in heaven, so that is no longer a fear. God may want us to adopt those who are on earth now, that otherwise would not hear the good news of Jesus. He may want us to remain a family of two...I'm not sure, but I'm now okay with that. It's no longer consuming me, I'm growing and finally this growth hasn't hurt, it's refreshing and peaceful!
Dave and I are going to spend some intense time in prayer for where God is leading us, and I am excited to hear from Him! Who knows what's in store, but we just want to fully seek him. I've always looked at Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV).
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
I've always held on to this verse, but recently my heart has been tugging at the verses that follow, the ones I never held on to, but now felt called to! Jeremiah 29:12-14 (ESV):
"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you," declares the Lord, "and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile."
This verse has been screaming at me to pay attention. I need to seek him with ALL my heart, and he will hear me. The rest of the verses remind me of when we are in a desert (or struggling with something) we are almost in exile. I am excited to be brought back! I think my eyes were blind before to this verse and it's meaning. I wanted my answer and my solution. If I seeked God, it's almost if I had an agenda. Now, he can bring me back after all this growth to the place he took me from and use me for his glory. Not that I haven't/couldn't be used in the desert, but I feel I whined just as the Israelites did, if not more!!
I am more open now to adoption that I ever have been. One of my biggest fears was that I would never have any bio kids here or in heaven...well, now I know that we will have a few in heaven, so that is no longer a fear. God may want us to adopt those who are on earth now, that otherwise would not hear the good news of Jesus. He may want us to remain a family of two...I'm not sure, but I'm now okay with that. It's no longer consuming me, I'm growing and finally this growth hasn't hurt, it's refreshing and peaceful!
Dave and I are going to spend some intense time in prayer for where God is leading us, and I am excited to hear from Him! Who knows what's in store, but we just want to fully seek him. I've always looked at Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV).
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
I've always held on to this verse, but recently my heart has been tugging at the verses that follow, the ones I never held on to, but now felt called to! Jeremiah 29:12-14 (ESV):
"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you," declares the Lord, "and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile."
This verse has been screaming at me to pay attention. I need to seek him with ALL my heart, and he will hear me. The rest of the verses remind me of when we are in a desert (or struggling with something) we are almost in exile. I am excited to be brought back! I think my eyes were blind before to this verse and it's meaning. I wanted my answer and my solution. If I seeked God, it's almost if I had an agenda. Now, he can bring me back after all this growth to the place he took me from and use me for his glory. Not that I haven't/couldn't be used in the desert, but I feel I whined just as the Israelites did, if not more!!
More surprises!
I had my "official" family birthday party on Sunday. Dave told me ahead of time that it was going to be our family coming over for a pizza war! I was sooo excited cause I love my pizza! So Dave got pizza from Domino's, Pizza Hut (pan and thin crust), Papa Murphy's, Little Cesears, Godfathers and VIP. We were to taste test them and vote on them according to a few criteria.
No surprise here, but just as my family got here, my oldest niece asked when the Fulkersons were coming...I said I only know of you guys being here...then she said, what about Garrison (our friends 2 year old)? Well, a few minutes later, some good friends from church showed up, and then 2 more close families to share in the festivities! I was like, DAVID...what's going on?? So, he threw me another surprise curve ball!
We had a lot of fun, the pizza war was such a great idea! It was kinda filling though, but worth it. Here's our results on a bar graph, Thanks H and Ev!!
Best crust: Domino's (their new crust is great!!)
Best sauce: Papa Murphy's
Least favorite: Pizza Hut (a surprise! I think it was the pan.)
Overall best: Papa Murphy's
Afterwards we had a great cake my mom brought that had raspberry filling, YUM, with some ice cream! We ended the time with a little Mariokart...which I am still learning!
I have been having many surprises over the last month leading up to my birthday, and even a week after! It has been such a blessing to have such great friends, family, and an amazing husband showering me with love to make my 30th so special. I never once had ANY negative feelings on turning 30, I didn't have the chance!
No surprise here, but just as my family got here, my oldest niece asked when the Fulkersons were coming...I said I only know of you guys being here...then she said, what about Garrison (our friends 2 year old)? Well, a few minutes later, some good friends from church showed up, and then 2 more close families to share in the festivities! I was like, DAVID...what's going on?? So, he threw me another surprise curve ball!
We had a lot of fun, the pizza war was such a great idea! It was kinda filling though, but worth it. Here's our results on a bar graph, Thanks H and Ev!!
Best crust: Domino's (their new crust is great!!)
Best sauce: Papa Murphy's
Least favorite: Pizza Hut (a surprise! I think it was the pan.)
Overall best: Papa Murphy's
Afterwards we had a great cake my mom brought that had raspberry filling, YUM, with some ice cream! We ended the time with a little Mariokart...which I am still learning!
I have been having many surprises over the last month leading up to my birthday, and even a week after! It has been such a blessing to have such great friends, family, and an amazing husband showering me with love to make my 30th so special. I never once had ANY negative feelings on turning 30, I didn't have the chance!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
An amazing husband!
So, after our meeting at church we finally were on our way..somewhere! He ended up taking me to the cities for a shopping trip!!! We stayed at an AMAZING hotel that was a one bedroom suite with a full kitchen. It was new and very modern! FUN! So, he wasn't kidding when he said a shopping trip, we shopped all three days! My husband is so amazing, he knows me and spoils me like crazy! I'm so glad he enjoys shopping as well. Dave is my favorite shopping partner!
So on Saturday, after we got there, we went out to a mall and I got a new outfit, some socks, and a new tank. We were pretty hungry and finally decided to get some dinner at Old Chicago. Our pizza was awesome. We went back to our room and Dave made us some MJB's...we haven't had these in over 5 years.
We slept in on Sunday (my birthday) and after breakfast Dave gave me a card that my sister wanted him to give me. It was soooo thoughtful, it had a "Top 10 reasons why I love me sister" that brought tears to my eyes! She actually hid it in my bathroom for Dave to find when he got home...how creative. After lunch, we went back to the same mall and shopped some more!! It took a while to find some good deals (I'm such a sales/clearance shopper) but found some new jeans I really loved. After we went to Target to snoop around and I got some shirts and Dave picked up Mariokart! I felt totally gilty and undeserving, but he reassured me that it was my birthday and I deserved it. After a another long day of being spoiled we went to Green Mill for an awesome dinner. I had the walleye which was great! For dessert we had Cold Stone and we went back to our room to enjoy some champagne.
We slept in again on Monday and after checkout we went to an outlet mall, but only made it to one store!! It was 50% off clearance and we got a LOT of UNBELIEVABLE deals!! It was the perfect ending to our shopping spree!!
Overall, I love my husband. He knows me and loves me, and is great at showing me. Not by the material things, but the thoughtfulness behind it. This was an amazing getaway for us. We had great conversations and it was fun to dream again. My focus has changed...I feel so blessed to be married to Dave. My dream was always to be a wife, and God has blessed me with this. And for that, I'm thankful! So, here's to being 30 and being joyful, content, and blessed with where I am at!
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