Growing pains, or lack there of

I'm at a really awesome place right now...where I should be, I think! I am at peace. I was always so fearful of my future and that this "thorn" would always be in my side. I didn't want it, and I didn't want to feel it's pain. I am finally in a place right now where this thorn is not as painful...it doesn't have the power it once had. I sometimes wonder if it is still there, maybe it has been removed and a scar is left. My thought always was that the thorn leaving would be us getting pregnant...now I think it's changed cause I choose not to worry about the thorn. With our without the thorn, my life will go on. Now what that life holds, I'm not sure, but I am sure that I am more excited to where the path may lead.

I am more open now to adoption that I ever have been. One of my biggest fears was that I would never have any bio kids here or in heaven...well, now I know that we will have a few in heaven, so that is no longer a fear. God may want us to adopt those who are on earth now, that otherwise would not hear the good news of Jesus. He may want us to remain a family of two...I'm not sure, but I'm now okay with that. It's no longer consuming me, I'm growing and finally this growth hasn't hurt, it's refreshing and peaceful!

Dave and I are going to spend some intense time in prayer for where God is leading us, and I am excited to hear from Him! Who knows what's in store, but we just want to fully seek him. I've always looked at Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV).

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I've always held on to this verse, but recently my heart has been tugging at the verses that follow, the ones I never held on to, but now felt called to! Jeremiah 29:12-14 (ESV):

"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you," declares the Lord, "and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile."

This verse has been screaming at me to pay attention. I need to seek him with ALL my heart, and he will hear me. The rest of the verses remind me of when we are in a desert (or struggling with something) we are almost in exile. I am excited to be brought back! I think my eyes were blind before to this verse and it's meaning. I wanted my answer and my solution. If I seeked God, it's almost if I had an agenda. Now, he can bring me back after all this growth to the place he took me from and use me for his glory. Not that I haven't/couldn't be used in the desert, but I feel I whined just as the Israelites did, if not more!!