God's opening doors to my heart

My prayers for the last year or so was that if God didn't want me to be a mom, that he would take away that desire in which he gave me. Now, the desire is not gone, but I believe he is working in me.

The last few weeks, I've been researching adoption. I've just had it on my heart. Something did trigger it. At our church, we did an outreach event called "God's Extreme Makeover, Bayside Edition". We did not tear down a house, but provided many necessities to a family in need that we might take for granted. This family touched me. The family consisted of a single mom and 6 kids. It was an amazing event, God was there and moved not only in my life, but the family's as well(the mom repented and trusted Christ as her Savior). After the event, we had a 5 day club at the nearby park, which I hosted. Now, if you knew me, this is not something I would do (not cause I don't believe in it...I'm just a shy type I guess...)God put this on my heart that this neighborhood needed this club, and he opened the door through our event. Anyway, I got to know 5 of this families kids very well. I fell in love with them! They appreciated so much, and all they wanted was someone to love them, to hug them, to play in the park with them, to hold them...SO, this family was recently evicted (not off of anything they did) and the mom is living with a friend where there are about 20-30 people hanging out at all times...not the best place for kids to be. So, a few families at church have taken some of the kids in to help provide a stable environment for them. I normally would NOT think of helping out...my life is busy. BUT, my heart really softened and it made me open up to think that I could help, and it really made me think of adoption. There are so many kids out there, like this families, that are looking for love and someone to take care of them. Plus, it really made my heart open for adoption of children of a different race. I no longer feel that my children need to look like me. I'm actually excited about raising our children in a mixed race family.

Anyway (sorry for the long post), but I finally had a chance to share how I was feeling with my hubby, and he is very open to adoption! He actually had a very vivid dream a while ago about us in a courtroom and the excitement we were feeling about this child finally being ours! Now, we're baptists, so we're not always quick to say that God gave us a vision :) BUT, I think he does and can, and we'll just wait and see how God works things out!

So, we're in prayer now for the next couple of months. A lot of prayer cause we still have our frozen embryo transfer in October and we don't feel we should get started with adoption before this cycle ends...it's so hard. Since being seasoned veterans to 3 failed IVF cycles, it's so hard to be positive and excited that "this could be it!" It's crazy though...after this 3rd fail, I told my dh that I wasn't ready to be done. I was still looking into doing more cycles. But, now, I feel ready to be done...to say that I am ok if I'm never pg., but excited about the opportunity to be a mom. Excited to jump onto another roller coaster...

Please pray for us, that we would have amazing hope and belief that God can do amazing things through our FET (frozen embryo transfer). But also, that if God is calling us to adopt, that no matter the results of our transfer, that we would listen and GO.

Here's the video that was made for God's Extreme Makeover, an event that God used to open doors to my heart. Enjoy!

God's Extreme Makeover from Bayside Baptist Church on Vimeo.