Joy

I'm experiencing such a sense of joy lately. I feel I'm coming to an end of a journey, one I've been on for 6 years. It wasn't until now that I didn't understand how this journey could end. I always saw it ending in fear and frustration. We would be childless, or we would be blessed with one, but still walking the IF journey to give our child a sibling. It was never ending in my mind.

I can now say that I see a light at the end of our tunnel. This light I see is not what I thought it would look like. It's better and more exciting. I thought I'd feel relief, but instead I feel anticipation. I thought IF would define me negatively, now I am so thankful for it. When I started this journey, I would never wish IF on anyone, now I wish everyone had a chance to experience it. Experience the marriage growth, the personal growth, the spiritual growth, and to feel that your life is exactly how God intended it to be.

I still may not see the end to this journey, but I feel it coming. It may not be how I thought it would end, but I have a strong feeling it will be WAY better than I ever intended. Will it end in God pulling a miracle and blessing my 2 babies to implant in October, or will it end with us adopting children who are praying for a mommy and daddy. I don't know which way, but I know without a shadow of doubt, that in the end, God will make us parents.

This light I see at the end is Christ, and I intend to follow him to see the amazing conclusion to this story...one that will be a new beginning for our family. Praise God!