Accepting IF as a part of who I am and who I will always be

This week is Infertility Awareness week. It has been interesting reading so many blogs of those who are experiencing IF. I've come to a realization...IF is a part of who I am, and always will be. I always thought that after we have children, that this would no longer be who I am...but I'm realizing I was wrong. So many other IF'ers who have had children agree.

If we are blessed with a bio child, I will feel so blessed. But, will we want more than one (I mean right now I LOVE my dog, but I really don't want 2, too much work!) Granted children will be different, but there are many couples experiencing this. IF affects excitement to add to the family, "will we have to wait as long, go through more treatment, can we afford to have another child?" I'm realizing my world will not go back to "normal" (as it was before we knew we had IF) after we have a child.

If we adopt, I will feel blessed to be a mother. But, I will always long to be pregnant and to see my dh's eyes, smile, or nose on our baby. Adoption answers a prayer to be a parent, but it isn't the answer to IF.

If God wants us to be a family of two, I will be blessed to have an amazing relationship and bond with my husband that NO ONE who has kids understands. But, unless God would answer my prayer to totally take away my desire to be a mom, I would always wonder what it would have been like to have a baby shower, watch them take first steps, be a soccer mom, be a grandparent, etc.

I'm now understanding that IF will always be a part of who I am, and I should be proud of who God made me to be. I've learned to embrace it and accept it. I am different than the other 83% of couples (1 in 6 couples have infertility problems). I am unique. I am a daughter of the King and thankful for His perfect plan for my life (even with IF).