The FET is set

We're doing our FET (frozen embryo transfer) on Wed. the 13th! I was excited to hear all looked well and we could go ahead. It's funny when I go in for u/s's I always get told what a beautiful uterus I have...now that's a comment you don't normally hear! HA! Now, if it would just behave and allow these babies to implant instead of sittin around looking pretty, I'd be happy!!!

This week God really brought me to realize my lack of faith. It was so easy to be excited about adoption (which I still am). But I think I was also using it as something to allow me to look past the upcoming FET. We've honestly had lost hope after our 3 failed fresh cycles. This last cycle was just going to be a flop anyway, just like the rest, so why get so emotionally involved, right?! I was really saying,"I'm going to not have faith that my God has a plan for these 2 and I'm not going to have hope, so I'll just move on to the next step emotionally."

I was really feeling I was missing out on something. God doesn't want me to lose hope in him. He doesn't want me to lack in faith in his abilities, especially after this whole 6 yr IF journey! How can I come to what I feel as the end, and still choose to lack faith in him???? It's easy! I have my flesh to blame, and possibly the enemy.

SO, I am putting all the research on adoption on hold temporarily so I can focus on this cycle. I mean, he allowed these 2 beautiful, perfect babies to last this long when no others have. He has proven time and time again through history that he works in clutch situations. I can say that me having faith that God will have us be parents somehow and being open to adoption has really allowed me to give complete control of this cycle over to him. I'm not hanging on, just excited to see him move. We're coming up to a fork in the road. Will he choose us to take the path of adoption, or choose to allow these babies to implant and become healthy children?? We'll have to wait and find out!!!