Under attack

Whenever you make a big decision, do you tend to second guess everything? What if this isn't what God wants, what if I'm suppose to do this or that instead?? I will be honest in saying that I'm NOT second guessing adoption...NOT AT ALL! But, I feel like I'm being attacked. I think satan wants me to second guess things.

This morning I talked to a great friend who also works at a local agency that we will be doing our home study and post placement through. When I mentioned the agency that we are doing placement with, she had a couple concerns. She just heard of a couple instances that they "dropped the ball" so to speak. So, I quickly called my hubby, in a slight panic. Our plan was to send in the paperwork today!! He talked to his co worker, who had a bad situation with the agency (one of the "concerns" my friend was talking about), but he still recommended them to us. Dave reassured me over and over that this is what we prayed about and God led us to LB (our agency). OK...that shook me up a bit. I was nervous that we were going to choose the wrong agency, when all along I forgot that HE (God) was in control all along and leading us.

So, that would be enough attack, right?? NO! I called my RE's office cause they were suppose to call a while ago to set up our follow up call and I wanted to get it over with so we could get our money back to use for adoption. So, I talked to his scheduler (who is SO nice and actually remembers me) and she said that she was going to call me tomorrow with his schedule...ok, fine. She then mentioned that he probably wanted to talk to me about doing another cycle, and asked if we'd be interested, cause he's known to give really good deals (especially since they think I still have a huge shot at getting pg). I was like, well, we sent in our app for adoption today...and I really don't think we'd be interested in doing another cycle. I asked, what, is he willing to do it for free, and she said, well, I'll leave that up to him to talk to you about, but lets just say it's close.

Attack, attack, attack!! No, I don't think I could go through another IVF cycle. I don't think that that is where God wants us. Why put ourselves through it if it's not where God is leading us?? So, I think God is at work, doing something amazing in our lives and the devil is trying to throw other things at us, trying to lure us out of God's plan. I just need to keep my eyes upon Jesus, and be in constant communication with my creator to make sure I'm staying on His path...and quit worrying!!