Today we had our final follow up with our amazing RE. He basically went over what a chemical pg was, and that I was indeed pg. Then, he offered us a 4th cycle for free (basically an extension to our program for no extra fees). My hubby and I were shocked that he'd do this. If it didn't work, we'd receive all our money back from the program. Sounds good, doesn't it??!
Well, we said, thank you, but no thank you. It was a very emotional and hard decision for ME. I knew in my heart that God opened our hearts to adoption, and that is where he is leading us...but to close a door completely on treatment is a very hard thing to do. I'm so thankful that Dave was on the line with me so he could speak up and talk when I couldn't. Why put ourselves through this when we feel God tugging at our hearts for adoption. He, I feel, will bless us for this decision. He knew that we wouldn't get pg after 3 rounds, He knew that we'd be offered another free cycle, and He knew the perfect timing to place adoption on both of our hearts. He didn't do it AFTER the offer. He did it before we were even finished with the program. I don't think His timing on that was a coincidence.
So, we are taking a step forward in faith. We now know that we can get pg and God can choose to surprise us the natural way if that's what He wants. But, now we're moving on to where we are being led...and we're excited!!! Adoption brings a whole new set of trials and steps of faith. But, I'd rather be in step where the Lord is leading, that on another path in the dark!
Now we just need prayer for conformation that the agency we think we are being led to is correct. We intend to keep going forward, unless God provides some SERIOUS financial blessings that it's obvious we should go with the other!
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3 comments:
Praying for peace as you venture into this new journey. Your faith and obedience is amazing!!!
i understand where your coming from b/c after our fourth miscarriage a doctor in Chicago found the reason why and a treatment that was 80% chance of carrying to full term BUT that was when God started working in our hearts for adoption so we decided to stop treatment and pursue adoption and I am SO thankful we did, Isaac is so worth everything we went through!
To answer your ?, our grant was through our agency we went through www.adoptionbygentlecare.org and you can fill out the application on their site and you'll find out within two weeks, and usually most families that want african american babies will get the full $13,500 grant, which cuts your adoption costs in half! :)
I just found your blog and wanted to say that we were in that same place, after 2 rounds, and felt led to adoption. It was really hard for me as well but now, I'm so glad we made the leap! We are currently in the waiting stage. I look forward to following your journey!
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